Jackson Pollock by Miltos Manetas

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

O is for

Old.  What kind of person do you want to be?

When I think of old I think of 70's old but I'm hoping I see 80.  I would like to be the cool, badass little hunched over lady with gray hair that I dye teenage colors.  I will willingly go to WalMart sporting my cat bathrobe, curlers in my hair, and a cigar hanging out of my mouth.  I will flip people off as I fly down the street going 30 on my moped.  The moped will have a Polish flag flying off the back basket, in which will likely be a well-trained kitty.  I'll have some kind of music device professionally fashioned onto my moped so I can roll through (I will not stop) stop signs with the latest hip-hop pulsating through my body.  Chances are I won't be able to hear worth a sh*t so the music will be deafening for those present.  I'll probably be single, and watching Jersey Shore, or something of it's equivalent I'm sure.  I'll dress like I'm 45--how daring.  Hopefully I'll be lucky enough to have all of my own teeth, but that seems rare.  Either way I plan on having a pink grill.  Maybe Megan and I will still go to Boomer's and close the place down...who knows.

I will adopt stray cats and give them to neighborhood children as Christmas, birthday, Valentine's Day, Australia Day, and Leif Erikson Day gifts.


Tuesday, August 30, 2011

N is for

Nothing.  Blog about nothing.

This is about as nothing as it gets.  I have compiled a list of interesting email subjects from emails between my brother and I over the last year and a half or so.  It's up to you to decide whether or not the emails pertained to their subject lines.

  1. Pea Soup!
  2. I use antlers in all of my decorating
  4. Orange Juice
  5. Feel Like P Diddy
  6. Bumble Bee Tuna
  7. French Toast
  8. Scotch Tape
  9. Teeaaaa
  10. Work Sucks
  11. Hamster Droppings 
  12. qwerty
  13. Cold
  14. UPP (Unicorn Protection Pact)
  15. Guys Named Todd
  16. Rupert
  17. Kinnickinnic Picnic
  18. Carrot Stress Toy
  19. Rubber Cement
  20. Hookah
  21. Champ Belt
  22. What's a Sconnie?
  23. Cotton Patch
  24. Hey Culligan Maaannn!
  25. Rotten Cabbage
  26. Overweight Pandas
  27. Breeding Habits of the South African Wombat
  28. Hicks Spitting on Sidewalks
  29. What the hell's diversity?
  30. Dead Bloated Rhinoceros
  31. Ingrown Back Hair
  32. Wheelchairs on Skis
  33. Lizard-Proof Bathtubs 
  34. Crack Spackle
  35. Dinosaur Urinalysis
  36. Malnourished Platypus
  37. Bug Guts Smeared on Windshields 
  38. Elderly Man Saves Pregnant Dolphin
  39. Hair Product Buildup
  40. Tissues in a Fan
  41. Spoontang
  42. Purple Carrots
  43. Can't Hug Every Cat
  44. Cephalopod Mucus
  45. Placenta Pate
  46. Effing Phone!
  47. Dried Frosting
  48. Frightened Ostrich
Hopefully that entertained you for a few minutes! Feel free to steal one or all of them as you please to use as your own email subject lines. You don't even need to give us credit!

Sunday, August 28, 2011

M is for

MORGAN! Kidding.  I mean, it is technically, but for the alphabet challenge M is for Music.

It's rather amazing how music can make so many emotional ties to different things in life.  I listen to everything because I need different music for different times, situations, and emotions.  One new artist I discovered is Lissie, who does an awesome cover of Kid Cudi's "Pursuit of Happiness".  Music typically gets me through a day.  Music can also influence buying habits.  It can show emotion at important events.  It can make you happy, sad, mad, anxious.  I wonder if people thousands of years ago saw this coming.

One final note:  Just for added emphasis, I like to blast "Friday" by Rebecca Black at work when tours of new students go through the building.  Never gets old.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

L is for

Love.  What are you looking for in a significant other?

Funny you should ask.  I feel as though I have rather simple expectations for a relationship, but that doesn't explain why I'm single, does it? Over the last year I've gotten much more comfortable being me and doing my own thing.  Yeah, yeah, "Then why have you been searching for someone??" I've been searching because I think it would be nice to have someone to grow with and experience things with.  Or maybe I'm just looking for someone to tolerate my random outbursts of nonsense.  Perfect! That's the start of the list of things I'm looking for in a significant other:

  • Must be able to tolerate my random outbursts.  This includes being able to tolerate the way I speak to my cats.
  • Should have close family ties.  I'm very close to my family and would want them to meet and hopefully like them.  And guess what? I'd love to get to know their family! Not after the first date though, I like to save that for the second.
  • Should be able to pick up sarcasm I threw down in the previous bullet.
  • Shouldn't take things too seriously.  However, should know when to be serious, which includes, but is not limited to: Interviews, professional work settings, police interrogation, bank robbery (assuming you're not someone holding the gun), when I'm crying, and at funerals.  
  • Should be doing something with their lives.  Sitting around in your boxers all day eating Cheetos and playing COD does not qualify as doing something with your life.  
  • Shouldn't have more hair products than me.  This one doesn't need much explanation.  But if you need an explanation, here it is:  I'm the girl.  
  • Drinking four times a week and blacking out, and/or doing drugs also does not qualify as doing something with your life, FYI.
  • Don't be an extreme anything.  And before you say anything about my cats, I'll have you know I'm not an extreme case.  Most of the time.
Basically I'm asking that my significant other be a decent individual all around. 

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

K is for

Kicking the Bucket...share your bucket list!

How morbid.  Creeping up on 23, the last thing I want to think about is death.  On the flip side, it is mildly entertaining to think about the things you want to accomplish, experience, and see in your lifetime.  A better way to think about it may be a list of goals.  Let's go with that--A List of Goals.  Only problem with that is it doesn't fit today's letter.

So here we go: Morgan's Bucket List
  • Hot air balloon ride.  I see those things floating over Hudson all the time, and one day one of them landed in my parking lot on campus.  Yes, it's MY parking lot.  I took it as a sign that I just need to git 'er done.
  • Snorkeling.  I've always wanted to go to Australia, so why not snorkel while I'm there and check out the reef?? 
  • Take my family on a vacation.  I need to either trip and fall into some dream job, or win the lottery...but dammit, I'm going to do it!
  • Visit Poland.  I know what you're thinking, "Umm...Poland? Is that safe?" Probably not, but I'd like to see where my family came from and experience the culture.
  • Live somewhere other than the Midwest.  It doesn't have to be for the rest of my life.  It doesn't even have to be for three years.  I just need to move away so I can gain a better appreciation for where I come from.
  • Crochet a blanket.  I've started two of them and never finished them.
  • Host an international student.  How neat would that be? I think it'd be pretty neat.
  • Maintain some kind of journal so that people can read about random junk that happened in my life.
What's on your bucket list?

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

J is for

Well it was supposed to be "Jokes" but I don't have any awesome jokes that will impress anyone. I probably don't even have jokes that won't impress people. Did that make sense?

I took it upon myself to change the word to Justification. Courtesy of Dictionary.com:


1. a reason, fact, circumstance, or explanation that justifies or defends: His insulting you was ample justification for you to leave the party.
2. an act of justifying: The painter's justification of his failure to finish on time didn't impress me.
3. the state of being justified.

Justification made some sense in my brain as a blog-worthy topic. I always find myself trying to justify everything I do. Why? Because I always want justification from others. I like knowing exactly why things happen and why people do the things they do. Obviously there are people who will just lie their way through every situation in their lifetime. But for those who are truthful, I think it may be a sign of strength to be able to justify their every move. Let me know if I'm wrong.

Justification may come into play once this alphabet challenge is finished...just sayin'.

And since today is technically my Monday, HAPPY MONDAY! Hopefully that doesn't make your week go any slower. If it does, blame me.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

I is for

Interesting Facts About You

I like to think there are a lot of interesting things about myself, but maybe that sounds conceited.

Here's a list of things about me. Maybe they're interesting facts, maybe they're not.

  • I love painting my toenails, probably because it lasts 4x longer than the polish on my fingernails.
  • I am thoroughly annoyed by people chewing with their mouths open, smacking their lips, and making weird/moist/annoying sounds with their mouths. How is it that I manage to eat every morsel of food with my mouth closed, but you cant? Just something to think about...
  • Spiders terrify me, snakes are a close second, the dark is a close third, and heights are a close fourth even though I've been on the Sears Tower and Empire State Building and loved every second of both occasions.
  • I hate reading. Here's the irony: I write all this junk, and (a few) people actually read it. Ha.
That's all for now, folks! Don't want to spoil all the mystery.

Friday, August 19, 2011

H is for


I've rocked some interesting hairstyles in my day. I've dyed it nearly every shade of red, half of it a bright fuchsia color, blond, dark dark brown that looked black for a while, various shades of brown, and blond highlights that looked more orange. My best memories are dying it twice in a 24 hour time period because I messed it up. I have permed it, straightened it, chopped it all off, spiked it, let it grow...rinse and repeat. How I still had hair after all of my experiments is beyond me.

On two separate occasions, at two different salons (which I'm not afraid to name: JCPenney and Regis) I got two really bad haircuts. I'm sure if you look at the pictures you'll think, "What's so bad about that...you look so cuddly and adorable as always!!" Yeah, no. I walked into the salons anticipating a haircut that would land me at shoulder length hair. After Edward Scissorhands worked me over, I walked out of the salon with chin length hair. How my chin and shoulders are one in the same, I will never know.

This is the first monstrosity, circa Fall 2007. I thought it would be cool if I got a fresh haircut since I would be starting college. Not exactly the way I hoped to start college: zero confidence. After this happened I told myself I wouldn't get an actual haircut for the rest of my life--only trims! Probably the worst part (other than paying for these terrible cuts) is that it goes through so many awkward stages when it is growing out. Do I just pin it back? Do I curl it? Do I do the ponytail trick everyday?

My hair grew out and I felt more like a girl again, felt a little confident.

Then I decided to get a haircut for another special occasion: My 21st birthday. I should have known it was going to be another mistake. Did that stop me? Nope! My train of thought was, "Ok, this time I'll go to Regis. Seems like a nice salon, maybe they'll be better than JCPenney." I made it clear to the nice young lady that I wanted my hair to be shoulder length, and I even told her about my previous terrible haircut. I took it a step further and emphasized how much I did NOT want it to be up to my chin.

Look where it ended up. My chin.

That time I was really done. No more hairCUTS, just TRIMS. And I finally found a salon that understands what people want. Buzz over to Facebook and check out Harmony Hair Design, shout out to Mel! For now I'm just rockin' the feather trend, which Harmony carries, FYI...Have Mel hook ya up!

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Today's letter is...

G...I would hope by now you've caught on to how the alphabet works, but if not I can surely keep announcing which letter is next.

Growing Up
This seems like a rather broad topic. I like to think I grew up right, but who doesn't think that? Here's how I felt at each age, starting with three because I'm not some super genius that can remember emerging from the womb.

3: Today I'm going to play in the sandbox with my brother! And chase cats around the farm! And then ride my bike! And then eat! And then run for absolutely no reason! (that last one never caught on)
4: Still chasing cats and dragging them around against their will. All I wanna do is start school now, I'm soooooooooo excited! (that quickly wore off!)
5: Oh goodness, I'm in school now! I have my new backpack, crayons, and no I don't want to nap!!! Dammit! Must....run......around.........
6: School is still fun, I think I can read now.
7: Ok neat, now I can write! MOM!!!!! LOOK AT HOW PRETTY IT IS!!!!!!!!! Hang it on the fridge :)
8: Alright, now I'm sick of Mom dressing me...Seriously...and hopefully my permanent teeth grow in asap.
9: Really sick of Mom dressing me, and there's no way I'm smiling for this school picture...creep.
10: I am probably the coolest kid in my class because I got my ears pierced for a SECOND time!
Scoooore! Oh....hi puberty..............my childhood has been ripped away from me.
In the meantime I'll be a manager for volleyball and have everyone be mean to me.
11: I should probably keep moping around and dwelling on the fact that I hit puberty centuries before everyone else, and try to be ok with the fact that I look like a dead bloated deer with a terrible haircut. Oh hey volleyball! I think I love you.
12: Still love volleyball, middle school students are the meanest people on the planet. I am now fully away of how big my forehead is...........you shouldn't have.
13: Completely paranoid about my "
fivehead". Hey cute boy, let's hold hands....OH MY!
14: High school, particularly a freshman, we are so awesome with our plastic bracelets and safety pins in our ears. Oh look! Another terrible haircut! It matches the braces I suppose.
15: Well I have my permit now, what a terrible tease. This is dumb. Seriously mom, I can just drive to the gas station, it doesn't matter......
16: Holy crap it's finally here! My license! I look like a complete fox in that picture...I better show anyone and everyone. I should also pull into the school parking lot with my music blaring so everyone knows how awesome I am.
17: Well this is a lame age...Can I buy lottery tickets yet??? Guess in the meantime I could sneak cigarettes to deal with it.
18: Smoking was dumb. And now I have graduated so I'm an overly experienced adult. The world should really watch its step.
Yay, I'm 19 and have survived a year of tech school, living by myself an hour away from home...I'm awesome.
20: Sweet lollipops! Where has the time gone?? Graduated tech school...now what? Might as well get another degree...here we go.
21: College sucks, but that's
ok because I live with my boyfriend...just what I've always wanted, my life is complete.
Gaawwddddd I can't believe I lived with him. I'm going to the bar. Is college over yet???

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

F is for


This can be a touchy subject unless you're me. I believe in unicorns, glitter, stars, rainbows, kittens, and lollipops.


Monday, August 15, 2011

E is for

Embarrassing moment.

Being the witty, sarcastic human that I am, I actually
find it difficult to become embarrassed. Or at least I know it has taken me a very long time to think of a time when I was truly embarrassed; embarrassed enough for it to stand out in my memory. There are times when I can't remember what people have told me, such as what they are majoring in. I know they have probably told me three or eight times, but I can't remember what it was for the life of me. That type of situation usually causes a weird little flutter of anxiety, probably just because I know they've told me...but my memory sucks.

The one moment that really stands out in my mind goes all the way back to third grade. Various grades in elementary and middle school participated in Jump Rope for Heart for the American Heart Association. I believe we raised money for the occasion and then had to jump for a certain amount of time. We had the option of jumping in memory of someone so naturally my mother and I decided I would jump for Gramps. For those of yo
u that don't know who "Gramps" is...he was my mother's father, thus making him my grandfather. He was probably the nicest, selfless, funniest person I have ever known.

If I can remember correctly, the awards ceremony was held at the end of the school year. At that time we received our certificates for Jump Rope for Heart. When they called me down from the bleachers to get my certificate, they said I had jumped however long, and that I jumped for Gramps. Laughter erupted from the sea of people in the bleachers. I was so mad that they were laughing at Gramps! And of course because of the age I was, I was embarrassed.

But you know what? They never knew Gramps.

My buddy ol' pal passed away in April of 2010. In September 2010 I participated in the Heart Walk for him. And guess what? I wasn't embarrassed. In my head I was flipping off everyone that had laughed at me back in third grade.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

D is for

Day in the life of me...

I don't think there's a typical day for me. During the school year my schedule looks something like this:

8 hours of homework
3 hours of sleep
Rinse and repeat

During the summer it really doesn't look much different:

Do nothing on the internet for a few hours
Feed ducks
Eat Mexican food
Rinse and repeat

Saturday, August 13, 2011

C is for

Car. Talk about your first car, the car you have now, yadda yadda.

My first car was my parents' '00 Oldsmobile Alero, in a sexy red-maroon color...two door...spoiler...I was hot shit. So naturally whenever my friends wanted to go somewhere, I wanted to drive! What a hot little car. Eventually the windows both quit working which we later found was a common defect in Oldsmobile Aleros, since the same thing happened to my brother's. The fuel pump also decided to go out. Let me tell you how awesome it was to only be able to use a quarter tank of gas at a time. It SUCKED. That got fixed in time. Then the head gasket went out, and apparently that's a common occurrence in V6's. If everything is so "common", why don't the manufacturers fix these things??

Because the 'lero kept overheating, and I was now moved out of the house, my parents decided it wasn't reliable enough for their baby. My brother stepped in and decided to be the awesome Big Brother of the Year and give me his Alero after he purchased a new car. Did I mention I love my big brother? For the last two-ish years I've been driving his 'lero, which is identical to the one I had, but it's silver, and most of the "common" problems had already been fixed. It's also two years newer. Fingers crossed this little car gets me through the next...however long...until I get a big girl job and can afford a new one. :) Boring, hope you didn't fall asleep.

Friday, August 12, 2011

B is for

Best Friend

Anyone who knows me would assume they know who my best friend is, and chances are they're wrong. (Sorry Megan!) I'm lucky to not only have one best friend, but two: my mom and dad. Awwwwww! I know. But here's why they are my two best friends:

They've always been there for me. They've been to every concert I played my clarinet in, every football game I cheered at, and every volleyball game I played in. They never missed anything that I was involved in, and I've always had their support from day one. Maybe there were things I did that they didn't agree with 100%, but they stood by me anyway. All the times I've moved? You better believe they helped me.

Not only do they support me, but I can go home, do nothing, and have a wonderful time. All I need is their company. I know I'm always welcome at home, and they would probably crap their pants if I moved back home. They're the strongest, nicest, most caring people I know, for many many reasons about which I could probably write a book.

I know I'm not as strong as they are, but I've learned so much from them and truly respect everything they are. Over time I have come to realize how lucky I am and how rare it is to be so close to my parents. This disturbs me in a way. Maybe some people don't realize how much their parents have done for them, or maybe their parents are just not as cool as mine. Who knows.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Doin' it.

Since I like to keep it random, I decided to dive into an alphabet challenge...how original. Let's see if I can actually do this for 26 days. Can't be that hard, right?

So here's the first one:

A: Animals... talk about any pets you have, had, or want.
Right now I have two cats who, in an almost disgusting way, are like my children. I like to think they're in foster care right now since they live with my parents. Now don't go thinking that makes me a bad parent! I just can't have them right now, and my parents were nice enough to take them for me for the time being.

The oldest of the two, Shnook (full name Shnookums; also goes by Shnookerdoodle, Shnooker, B**chface), I received as a gift for my 16th birthday (awww). She was the cutest little gray fuzzy-fuzz-mcfuzzball in the world. I regret not capturing her absolute cuteness. For the longest time she had the personality of a rock, and that's being nice. Always crying, biting, scratching, hating life in general.That all changed when the new kitty was brought home.

When Naughty (full name Captain Naughty Pants; also goes by Pants, Craptain, Sh*thead) was brought home, all hell broke loose in my parent's house. Thank all the powers in the world around us that she was declawed. She still has the clawing/claw sharpening instinct, so it's pretty hilarious to watch her go to town on the recliner. Despite true concerns that she is indeed Satan, I just love the little snot. She's too cute to hate.
Ohhhhh my little angels. :)

Monday, August 8, 2011

Good things come to those who are kind.

I have been working as a desk assistant for a year and a half. Over that amount of time I have realized that there are some interesting characters out there. Most of them assume that I have no clue what I'm doing, and others assume I can deliver the world to them. Neither of these assumptions are true, they are simply assumptions.

As for those who assume I don't know what the hell I'm doing, perhaps they should save themselves the phone call if they already have all the answers. By doing this, I could potentially save on Tylenol purchases. As for those who assume I can deliver chocolate-dipped Oreos (which sounds amazing now) on white unicorns with rainbow horns while playing the tuba, perhaps they should instead use their time exploring possible hobbies. There's no way I can play the tuba.

It's not all bad. I do sometimes have the sweet little old ladies who are grateful for every click I make. And on special occasions I'm able to get a laugh from questions such as, "Is this the library?" (When I answer the phone clearly stating that I'm Campus Information).

In a nutshell: If you are kind on the phone, you will see great results and your problem will be solved faster. This method was also used when I worked in a customer service center for sporting goods. If people were kind and understanding of the fact that the warehouse was located in Tennessee, while I was located in Wisconsin, then they had a pleasant experience on the phone with me. However, if they instantly get pissed that I can't walk to Tennessee into the warehouse and grab their order, then I'm going to be a smartass.

There are exceptions to every rule. If you are being kind and patient and all that good jazz, and the customer service/desk assistant is truly being ridonk, then by all means, get pissed. In the meantime, sit back and relax. Your problem will be solved, and you will survive without knowing the chancellor's personal cell phone number. You will also survive if you have to wait an extra day for your Adrian Peterson jersey.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Something to think about...

I just read the best blog, containing the best advice that I think everyone should try to follow.

The helpful tips and little life secrets can be found at:


I like to think I have most of these figured out at the tender age of 22, but there are obviously areas I'm struggling in.

I have yet to find a hobby. Perhaps blogging could be that hobby if I can find enough things to write about. I suppose nobody really even needs to read it--as long as I'm happy writing!

I need to budget. Too often do I run out of money and am left scratching my head wondering where it all went...in a week. One small step I have taken is eating at home more which hasn't paid off quite yet, but I'm confident it will with time. Less Mariachi? Maybe.

More flossing. I don't floss nearly as much as I should. It's ok to be disgusted with that statement, because I'm disgusted with it.

Say no; make memories. In many instances, I have given up a little chunk of my life so I could work for someone. I'm getting better at saying no and respecting the fact that I do have a life and need "me" time as well as "friend" time. This doesn't mean I'm lazy, I still know how to work!

Quit worrying. Ohh the countless nights spent in bed worrying...for hours. About what? Anything. And everything. Maybe I should try writing it all down. It's worth a shot.

Eat better and be active. Probably the toughest one of all. I'm not even sure why it's that hard. Maybe because during the school year I'm constantly running around and just grab whatever is easiest to devour. I shall work on this.

Hopefully Sarah's blog gets you thinking :)