O is for

Old.  What kind of person do you want to be?

When I think of old I think of 70's old but I'm hoping I see 80.  I would like to be the cool, badass little hunched over lady with gray hair that I dye teenage colors.  I will willingly go to WalMart sporting my cat bathrobe, curlers in my hair, and a cigar hanging out of my mouth.  I will flip people off as I fly down the street going 30 on my moped.  The moped will have a Polish flag flying off the back basket, in which will likely be a well-trained kitty.  I'll have some kind of music device professionally fashioned onto my moped so I can roll through (I will not stop) stop signs with the latest hip-hop pulsating through my body.  Chances are I won't be able to hear worth a sh*t so the music will be deafening for those present.  I'll probably be single, and watching Jersey Shore, or something of it's equivalent I'm sure.  I'll dress like I'm 45--how daring.  Hopefully I'll be lucky enough to have all of my own teeth, but that seems rare.  Either way I plan on having a pink grill.  Maybe Megan and I will still go to Boomer's and close the place down...who knows.

I will adopt stray cats and give them to neighborhood children as Christmas, birthday, Valentine's Day, Australia Day, and Leif Erikson Day gifts.

Boom.